TO HELP OR NOT TO HELP



Friends

Being a Friend
  1. Keep in touch regularly
  2. Spend time doing the things you mutually enjoy
  3. Listen as much as you talk
  4. Keep confidential what your friend shares about his/her concerns or fears
  5. If your friend becomes ill, ask how "may I help"
  6. If your friend has suffered a loss, listen to his/her description and acknowledge the pain of that loss.
  7. If your friend has been traumatized in ways beyond your skill level to be helpful, help research appropriate professionals for your friend to see.
  8. If your friend becomes depressed and suicidal, immediately contact a professional trained to deal with such.

Friendship


  • Is a gift you give yourself
  • Is like warm air on a cold day
  • Is a chance to be yourself
  • Is the freedom to share your innermost thoughts without fear of rejection
  • Is like Aloe Vera on an open wound
  • Is a mirror into your soul
  • Is a sounding board for ideas and ambitions
  • Is a book you love to re-read
  • Is an umbrella in the storms of life
  • Is shared ecstasy
  • Is the foundation of your well being
Finding a Friend
  1. Participate in activities that interest you
  2. Listen to the views others express about themselves during the activity
  3. Ask questions to broaden your understanding of those views
  4. If you like what you hear, invite that individual to join you after the activity for refreshments or a future meal
  5. Explore interests beyond the activity where you met.  If you like what you hear, suggest getting together again.
  6. Test the potential for a friendship in terms of openness, trust, honesty, integrity, and confidentiality.
  7. Recognize that friendships take time to develop.


Friendship Boundaries


  • Recognize that you cannot meet every need that your friend may have.
  • Recognize that friendship which makes the other dependent will not last.
  • Know your own limits for sharing an activity.
  • When confronted with a request that you do not feel comfortable filling, be open and honest about your feelings and your need to set limits in this area.  Also, suggest other ways the friend might get that request filled.